On loss, first person

Photography and writing by Clara Lu (c2017)


our own way each
we grieve, I grieve
in the in-

a patient, the news
next patient

our home, the service
my home

today, the breaking

and tomorrow and tomorrow still
pacing the wards, rounding
beneath death
you vulture
though this my own first time
washing salt from their eyes
and soil from our shoes
and smoke from my hair

dry-eyed, ash-faced I
know I’ve done this before
intimately, impersonally

when it finally became
mine, it was mine
no longer

the lost loss
the rusted sorrow
grief bereft of grief


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